My kids read my blogs. Or maybe, I read my blogs to the kids. Sometimes I wonder if they appreciate the fact that I overshare our lives. Their LIVES.
I recently sat down with hubs and in these exact words, I said “I’m ready to quit! Or better yet, I took the first 15 years, you take the next 5!”
Ya’ll. You already know this. Parenting is hard. Parenting is hard at different stages of life. For new moms, the waking up every few hours to nurse is hard. For Little League moms, hearing All-Star tryout results are excruciating. For tween moms, hearing your kiddo talk about being upset about not being invited to a party is gut wrenching. For seasoned moms like myself, staying up late, and in those moments that lead up to hearing the car pull in the driveway, and anxiously awaiting the alarm reset and hearing “I’m home”, they seem to move like old glue.
Don’t get me wrong. For all the joys that parenting holds, I’m just saying as the moms of young people growing up in the midst of social media, instant gratification, and a healthy dose of entitlement, I find myself busting open my Bible app a lot. I am constantly scrolling for devotionals based on teen peer pressure, developing strong teens, teen leadership, and the like. Between the Bible app and the Urban Dictionary app, I find myself somewhat being able to cope. Oh, and let me never forget the Find my Friends app, and Life 360 app. Good Lort help me!
When I talk to my mom friends, I know that we are all in the same boat. At 6pm, it’s like I can hear, in unison, all of us cracking open a bottle of wine. On Friday nights, I know that we are sitting and single-handedly drowning ourselves in Blue Bell. That’s only after we have attended some sport thing and are finally finished chauffeuring everyone back and forth from “stuff”.
In the last few days, I feel like the only uncool mom, the only mom who feels like X, Y, and Z are wrong, the only mom who won’t let their kid do X,Y, or Z, or the only mom who makes their kid do X, Y, or Z. Well, I don’t just feel that, I’ve been told that. And for the record kids…I checked. I’m not the only mom. I called around. All the other moms feel the same. They are also making their kids do SAT work, they are not giving them $20 every day, they are making them work for it, and yes, they have curfews too. <insert sticking tongue out emoji>
I told one mom when we talked about us moms aligning together to make it easier to say “NO” to certain things that hubs and I were subscribing to “the school of put a foot in YO ass”. I have said to another mom when she suggested a hands off method…oh hell no, hubs and I are about to send them to camp “WORK YO ASS OFF”.
I am no expert in any of this. For any parents who made it through these years, I’ll take any advice. I love these kiddos, I’m heavily invested in them. I long for the day that I was still at the center of their world, and where my opinion was the only one that mattered. Hell, I long for the day that I controlled what they listened to, what they watched, what they wore, how they combed their hair.
When did they grow up? How did I get here?
Here is what I read recently in a devotional called “Unsupermommy“. “I had been wrong about motherhood. The path of motherhood isn’t meeting my system of standards to raise the perfect child. It is my whole, tired, imperfect heart relying on my infinitely mighty and righteous God.” WAIT WHAT?
That’s right. WOW. Ton of bricks ya’ll. It went further. “We have so many good plans for our motherhood. We are so certain that if we just achieved every expectation for ourselves as mothers, we would raise happy, healthy children. Then real life gets in the way and messes up all of our plans. But that messy reality isn’t an accident; it is God’s plan for our lives. …To cause us to call upon him. The difficult circumstances of real motherhood are meant to force us to seek him with all of our heart. When we are at the utter brink of our inabilities, all we need to do is call out. He will hear us.”
WOW! I had been so busy trying to control it all. Control everything. Make it all perfect. UGH!
If you have the Bible app, I found this devotional in there. If you enjoy reading a real book, or like reading your Kindle, you can find it on Amazon too. Here is the link. https://www.amazon.com/UnsuperMommy-Release-Expectations-Imperfection-Superpower/dp/142455411X
For everything that I share, I hope that you all also know, I get a lot of joy in knowing that my girlfriends and I are in the same boat. I’m not happy that we are all scared, worried, or are losing our minds, I’m just glad that I’m not crazy alone. I’m glad that I have them to share with, to toss ideas back and forth, and to commiserate with. Most of the times, we don’t solve any problems, but man, sometimes to just hear your thoughts aloud, and to be able to laugh about them, and to say “hey, if this is the worst we ever go through…”, then I think we are going to survive the next few years.
So ladies, moms, and friends…thank you so much for joining me in being the uncool moms, the moms who say NO, the moms who ask too much, the moms who are losing their freaking minds. We will survive.