Welcome To My Blog!
Reene Bradshaw is a girl about town, a "seeker" of all things fine, a champion of her favorite places, and an advocate for excellent customer service! I'm a Momma Bear and a Wife-Extraordinaire! Did I mention that I can bust a rhyme? Oh, and have you heard...I LOVE shoes! Sometimes I'm the voice outside of your head, saying the things you really want to say (hmmm...is that a good thing?), but always doing it with a Southern 'sas', and always minding my manners "Bless Your Heart!"
It's An Insane Life...
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
My life as a mom, volunteer, business person is filled with insanity.
Examples of insanity –
Laundry – duh,the basket just fills up again
Shaving your legs – it just grows back
Making the bed – you just get back in
Coloring grey – no explanation needed
Waxing your bikini area – did you see “shaving your legs”?
Doing good work – MORE WORK
Washing the dog – they lick their butt, really?
Clean baseball clothes – sliding into third base
Balancing the checkbook – can someone rob a bank for me please?
Teaching hubby/kids to load the dishwasher correctly – IT WILL NEVER BE DONE RIGHT!
10 Random Things To Know About Me
(NOT REALLY, its crap that’s funny though!)
- I can’t say PENGUIN; I say it “PANG-WIN”.
- I call my feet “Fred Flintstone feet”.
- Said feet have Cheetos shaped toes, the poofy ones, not the crunchy ones. (Crunchy Cheetos just sounds gross, especially when describing feet.)
- You know those questions kids ask…like “If you were going to be a fruit or vegetable, what would you be?” I love those questions! They make you think. My Answer – an onion. I like the way that onions can make you cry because of something so simple, like touching them, like cutting them, like peeling them. I like how you laugh at someone who is crying while working on an onion. It’s a little sadistic, but I find humor in laughing out loud at someone crying when working with an onion. I guess ‘cuz it’s that they can’t help themselves. Sadistic I tell ya! I also like being an onion because the flavor can be bold, or very simple (hmmm, kinda like someone I know?). I also like that an onion can be hidden in food, chopped up so fine, and no one ever knows that they are there, again…resemblance? I like that there are different colors of onions, white onions, yellow onions, purple onions, kinda like that color wheel again. I ask ya, coincidence that I like the onion? Truth be known, I hate onions, can’t stand finding them in my food, don’t like them on hamburgers, won’t eat them unless they are hidden. Except at Subway, on my sandwich, I like just the right amount of purple onion, like 2 slivers, 2 very small slivers, no more. (“Did you hear me lady, 2 small slivers?”) Lastly, I think I would want to be an onion for the simple reason that when you misspell onion on an Iproduct, it corrects it to union. Love a good union, not the kind that gets workers together, a union…like a family, like matrimony.
- I have a green belt in Tai Kwon Do. Nothing more on this, except that I used to spend a lot of Friday nights at sparring. I love a good ass kicking. It is great fun to beat the shit out of someone and have it be in good sportsmanship. OH…and once (at band camp-sorry, couldn’t resist), during a sparring competition (yes, I competed, remember aforementioned ass kicking), hubby couldn’t have cared less about watching me spar with someone until I bloodied her nose. It was like his animal instinct flew out, yelling “go for the kill”! Needless to say, I won. Who’s your momma?
- If I ever had a crush on you, I promise, you will end up Gay or Bald. I have facts to prove it. This will come to him as a surprise, Doug Parker, major high school crush. (I can’t wait until he reads this!) Mike Gonzalez, crazy crush…the boy could dance like no one’s business. Yes, GAY, flaming, cross-dressing GAY. I can’t tell you the number of now bald guys that I have in my history. Proven fact, Reene crush = Gay or Balding. (Ask my husband too!)
- I dropped out of school 6 weeks before graduation. I hate this fact. I was a hard-headed, great, straight-A student, but withdrew myself because of principle. Barnett (yes, I remember you, and I when I heard you passed away, I had to breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that you wouldn’t push your own will over the risk of losing a student.) Anyway…I have a GED. Not one to look back, but I can say, I miss the photos of prom, and graduation. I think I might even miss the puking you do at the parties, well, maybe not. Maybe I just missed the beer bong. Who knows?
- My first kiss with hubby was on a dare ($50.00 went a long way back in the day! That was a lot of booze I could buy!) I guess it must have been a good one. He has stayed around 21 years, wow, that’s half my life!
- I have worn Mary Kay foundation since I was 17. No…not the pancake kind. It’s evolved, and I’m not that old to remember it either. I think people are surprised how great my skin is, but I am here to tell ya…MK has it going on!
- I secretly am terrified of group gatherings. I know, most of you won’t believe it, but I’m really not outgoing…I have to push myself! I’d much rather be alone. I’m a free bird, and free spirit, would much rather be quiet than the loud mouth, Hispanic chic you all know. (Except at my kid’s sporting events, don’t know what happens, but GAWD, I become a freak of nature supporting them!)
You Made It To The Bottom!
So....now what? You can start reading my latest posts!